uncovering the hidden world of grief
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” — Nelson Mandela Flying back from a work trip last week helped me gain the perspective that I desperately needed. 30,000 feet in the air, good music in my ears, and a pen and paper helped me get clear. Why in the hell was I taking... Continue Reading →
Open windows are bringing in the earthy breeze and the sounds of the birds. Bella is sitting at the window with her head resting on the sill. Her nose twitches as she catches things on the wind that rustles her hair. I sit at my desk facing the expanse of glass panes that make up... Continue Reading →
I walked outside tonight and took a deep breath of the fresh, cold winter air. Crisp and bold, it’s the complete opposite of a summer night that’s heavy with living earthy things. Winter air is empty, but strong. I felt that first breath reach down and touch the bottom of my lungs. Stretching up and... Continue Reading →
In the years after my late husband’s sudden death, I found that grief doesn’t follow reason or resolve itself in a neat, expected pattern. There’s no story line to follow, no map. If you follow one person’s suggestion, it may lead you to some peace and understanding or it may lead to more questions and... Continue Reading →
Like a fishing net, I’m still letting things collect and weigh on me. It’s a cycle that I’m beginning to realize and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s just the way I’m built. As l move through life, I gather residue from my interactions and reactions. Feelings cling to me, tinting the color... Continue Reading →
For the first time in years, I blew through the holidays with no care for review or goal setting. I did not want to reflect on the past or find hope for the future. I was just tired and focused on what was right in front of me. Reading the story in animal signs during... Continue Reading →
The hardest first step I took after my husband’s sudden death was allowing myself to ease into the new darkness that came from his loss. I tried everything to keep the rush of feelings at bay for a long time. Like a growing eclipse, I could sense something swallowing the light around me. I was... Continue Reading →
I fell out of reality when Gage died. Time was meaningless. Things that used to be so important dropped from my concern. Worries about my big work projects flew from my mind like leaves in the wind. I forgot to eat and constant nausea settled in. I hovered in a state of exhaustion, never fully... Continue Reading →
"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."Ancient Chinese Belief Gage was right from the start that we were meant to be together, even if I didn’t believe him. Thankfully, his stubbornness paid off and we... Continue Reading →
The Unseen Widow 