Fall

Fall has always been special to me. Summer air gives way to cooler nights, making me want to sit under the stars before the winter wind comes. Trees burn red, orange, and yellow against a bright blue sky. The season is a fleeting gift that can pass me by if I don’t take a moment... Continue Reading →

Words Never Said

For a long time, I wondered about the last words we never shared just before he died. I was driving home when he collapsed in the garage with heart failure after sending our two young children off to do their chores. He never regained consciousness. I said my last words to his empty body after... Continue Reading →

Shine the Light

This picture was taken about two years after my late husband past. I made all my goals happen in 2016 in my first health challenge with 1FitWidow. I devoured the teachings and focused on myself like I hadn’t ever really done before. I rode the high of my accomplishments and was grateful for my health.... Continue Reading →

Widow is a Four-Letter Word

It took me a long time to call myself a widow. I foolishly thought that if I didn’t give myself the label, then I wouldn’t become one. That didn’t stop the whole world from calling out the truth, starting with the night I turned off his machines to let him go. Earlier that morning, I... Continue Reading →

Do Something that Feels Good

When the weight of my loss felt a little heavier than usual this past week, a good friend shoved back into the world again. Getting last minute tickets to a show was exactly what I needed even if I fought the idea. Lake Street Dive, a band I had always wanted to see live, was... Continue Reading →

The Board and the Water

I pushed myself out the door this morning when I wanted to just sit on the couch and stay numb. This 5-year anniversary of his death weighs on me almost as much as the first one. I think it’s because I allowed myself to be a mess that first year. In the back of my... Continue Reading →

Ongoing Grief

Five years without him.  I had a lot of ideas of what this would be like, especially early on when I didn’t understand what I needed to do and where it would take me. Looking back now, I have to shake my head. Unbelievably, if I knew nothing then, I know even less now. Maybe... Continue Reading →

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